Thursday, October 2, 2008

I will miss all of you

I think I’m dying. There is something very wrong with me. I am always hungry. ALWAYS. I swear I’ve heard of a disease where the person never feels full and it gets to the point where the refrigerator and pantry has to be locked and the key hidden so they don’t overeat themselves to death. In fact, now that I think about it, the one and only CSI show I ever saw was about a guy who had to be chained to his chair or he would overeat.

I would have appreciated it if somebody had tied me to my chair yesterday. The problem stems from the fact that I am trying really hard to be healthy. This is very difficult for me because in the past I have been extremely unhealthy – we’re talking a donut for breakfast every day, multiple mochas a day, multiple sodas a day, a bag of pretzels, pasta drowned in butter and cheese for dinner.

I was on a fast track to becoming the mom in the movie What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and I really don’t want my kids to be embarrassed by my weight – I want them to be embarrassed by my inappropriate comments and the fact that I’m always drunk when their friends come over.

Obviously, it was time for me to make some changes to my diet, but you can see how big of a change this would be for me. I started by cutting down on the mochas and soda. Now I am trying to cut down on the amount of snacks I eat.

The problem is that every day an hour before my lunch break I get sooo hungry. So normally I break out the snackie snacks and start chowing down, but yesterday I brought yogurt to work or as my nephew likes to call it GOGURT! GOGURT! GOGURT! The kid likes his yogurt. I wish I could be as passionate about something that wasn’t butter or bacon.

The point is I tried having a pre lunch snack of yogurt yesterday and it made me more hungry. Then all I could think about was the sandwich waiting for me in my purse. That delicious wonderful sandwich that I wasn’t supposed to eat for another hour. Of course I ate it. Like you had to ask. BUT I only ate half of it and left the remainder on my desk to taunt me. And yet I was still hungry.

At this point I started to panic because the slimfast shake I had brought as dinner on the go for class was sounding awfully tempting, but then what would I have to eat for dinner! Nothing. That’s what. I couldn’t spend another three hours in a boring class on the verge of passing out for lack of food. My solution to this quandary? A lunch of pasta drowned in butter and cheese after which I was still hungry. This is why I believe I am dying. It was really nice knowing all of you.

13 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Aww--I'll miss you too! ;)

I used to go through this at school, and as ridiculous as it sounds, cheese rolled into a cold cut (no bread) kept me pretty full because it was low glycemic. I was eating sugary cereal and other things that burn through really quickly, and that just wasn't cutting it hunger wise.

Good luck finding something that works for you!

Heather said...

I started bringing those 100 calorie snack packs and the Weight Watchers cakes (chocolate, carrot and the fake twinkies are good, stay away from the cookies. Blech) to work. That has helped a lot.

heatherdc said...

I'm gonna try to not be all Nutrition-ista on you with the slim-fast (not a big fan).....

Do you watch "It's always sunny in philadelphia"??! Cuz this post totally reminded of their season opener: "I fed you Raccoon. You probably have a tapeworm or something".....So um, if you're answer to the question is no, then that makes absolutely No sense. but uhhh, maybe you have a tapeworm?! OH they talked about that in the Office last week too!! haha oh Kelly. alright. this comment is too long. I hope you don't actually have a tapeworm :) just sayin....

Bayjb said...

Maybe you have a tumor or a tapeworm. Just kidding, really. It's the change of seasons, that's what I'm attributing my recent hunger urge to.

stealthnerd said...

I'm voting tapeworm too. I swear I get those every once and awhile. I can have weeks where I'm maybe 2 meals a day and then weeks where, well, god help my pantry.

Dingo said...

Maybe you're not eating the right things. Yesterday for lunch I had a sandwich. Still hungry. Ate banana. Still hungry. Ate another banana. And a plum. Still hungry. Ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's with some extra chocolate chips on top for flava. Aaaaahhhh....that did it.

So, ditch the yogurt and start with the ice cream.

Megkathleen said...

Elizabeth - I do like cheese, I might have to try that with some ham.

heather - I was thinking about trying the 100 calorie snacks. I'm a bit worried that I'd eat 4 of them at a time though.

Heatherdc - I'm not a fan of slimfast either. But i figure it's better than McDonalds. I'm pretty sure I don't have tapeworm - I imagine I'd be losing more weight. Creed giving Kelly that worm might have been my fave moment in the Office last week. Too funny.

Bayjb - HAHA. Such an uplifting comment. I'll go with your change of the seasons reasoning.

Stealthnerd - excellent! It seems that the majority of my readers think I have tapeworm. I guess we'll find out if I lose a lot of weight in the next week. My fingers are crossed!

Dingo - I love it! Of course I havne't been eating enough ice cream.

Gretchen said...

I've been trying to eat healthier and then my dad's all, "Want to go to Noodles & Co for dinner?" FAIL.
Anyhow, I'm the exact same way.

surviving myself said...

I will miss you. I knew you so well, and..

I can't comment any further. I'm weeping.

Arjewtino said...

I thought I had a tumor last week.

I'm still not sure I didn't.

MizFit said...

ok delurking to say you SO MAKE ME LAUGH and I, too, will often wander the house announcing to my husband (or the dog. whomever will listen) I HAVE A TAPEWORM PEOPLE! DO YOU HEAR ME? whilst cramming various & sundry foodstuffs in my cakehole.

have a good weekend!

Kristen said...

Try carrots with peanut butter.

That will stick around for a while. Unless you're allergic to peanuts. Then you shouldn't do that.

Megkathleen said...

Gretchen - Same with me! On Friday my coworkers got me a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon which was a thousand times better than the sandwich I had brought.

Survivingmyself - That's so sweet. I would weep if you were dying too.

Arjewtino - Every time I have a headache I think it's because of a brain tumor.

Mizfit - Yay for delurking! Hilarious - I'm going to start screaming at people that I have a tapeworm when I start stuffing my face. It's an excellent excuse.