Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Nobody steals from me. Nobody.

I have an enemy in my marketing class that is much more serious than the enemy I dealt with in my accounting classes. The ex-enemy was simply annoying with her non-stop chattering and her “I’m better than you” attitude.

The new and improved enemy is an actual asshole. Remember that guy who doesn’t speak English all that well, but still likes to argue with the prof over the correct usage of words? Of course you do. Well now he likes to sit next to me. Mother Effer.

At the end of each class the prof makes us do a group project and you automatically have to work with the person next to you. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, but he is quite the know-it-all. It was an extremely frustrating experience. He talks non-stop and every time somebody would try to get a word in edgewise he would just talk louder to drown them out. I really do not take kindly to people trying to shut me up so I was truly near tears. Finally, I gave up and completely stopped contributing. Instead I started digging in my purse for stray Starbursts and shared them with the nice guy next to me who had also given up. Then we sat back and watched the one guy left attempt to argue with Jackass who appeared to not notice that anybody else was talking.

This really isn’t all that big of a deal until you consider the fact that I will probably be in a group with him for the huge project that we spend six weeks of class time working on. I have finally faced the facts that if I am in a group with this guy in order to survive I will have to stop caring about my grade…which is virtually impossible for me.

I have this completely illogical attitude that if I don’t get an A on every single project, homework assignment, and test I will inevitably end up homeless living in some parking lot in Seattle next to an onramp to I-5. I pass these people every day on my way home from school and, while occasionally I’ll get tata’s flashed at me, it only serves as a reminder of what my future will be like if I don’t get straight A’s. Please don’t point out how irrational this is - my poor brain can’t process it it’s got too many other things going on.

Anyway, either I have to stop caring about my grade because I won’t be allowed to talk and therefore will have zero control over it or I have to confront him. I’ve been giving myself a pep talk about confronting him so hopefully I’ll have the ovaries to bitch him out in the next month or so.

Oh, and did I mention he stole my pencil? Well, he did. Jackass. On a positive note I’m liking the prof more than I did at the beginning of class. The new enemy isn’t the only idiot in the class – there are quite a few and what I like about the prof is he has no patience for them. I always said I could never be a teacher because when people are stupid I wouldn’t be shy about telling them. This prof just looks at them like they’re crazy and says, “No! That’s not it at all. NEXT!” I love it.

However, I hate how it doesn’t faze these people. They just keep on keeping on. In all seriousness though at one point he asked a question and then point blank said, “The answer is not blah blah blah” and then three people raised their hand and said, “Is the answer blah blah blah?” NO, IT ISN’T. If you’re not listening than stop talking! I’d be worried about losing my cool and yelling at people to shut their stupid mouths, but I figure I’ve made it this far without going completely nutso so surely I can make it another month and a half.


Anonymous said...

Oh, you are just like me when it comes to school and I love it, hehe.

I wish I had some advice ... but alas, I do not. Been in some crappy group-work situations, but not one like this. Sorry! I'm sure you'll figure something out. And hey, if not, can't you just move your seat?

Kristen said...

Don't worry sweetie. I've been in classes like that and they're PAINFUL. I just kept telling myself that it's just part of the game and then I'd silently plot their deaths in my head while they blabbered on.

And look on the bright side. You're actually pretty lucky. Nobody ever flashes their ta-tas at me when I'm driving by.

It means you're special.

Anonymous said...

maybe this enemy is thinking the same thing you were... sit next to the fluent english kids so you can get a better grade!
i wouldn't let him get away with stealing my pencil either, it's those minor little things that get under my skin until i can't take it anymore. i'd be in class a month later and grab whatever pencil is on his desk and say "can i have this back now?!?"

Elizabeth said...

Oh, how annoying! There were always those people in my classes--they never knew when to shut up, and if class ran over, it was always because of them. Confrontation can be cathartic, especially when irritation has been brewing for weeks!

rs27 said...

I hope you didn't give up the red starburst.

Its the holy grail of candy.

Dingo said...

Coming from a prof, you should have a discussion with your professor about how this guy is shutting down discussion and contribution from the rest of the class. Your prof should have noticed this on his own and shut him down but hasn't for some reason. You should talk to him.

Then, while you are waiting for your prof to get some balls, kidnap the annoying student, duct tape his mouth shut and leave him in the supply closet.

Jessica said...

OMG, I seriously hate people like that. I must have one in everyone of my classes.

PS- I also hate group projects because I am also anal about only getting A's and I am starting to even dislike A-'s haha.This is a problem..esp. considering as a PR major, my gpa doesn't really matter to most employers.

jo ann. said...

Sometimes it helps to raise your voice, your arms, AND your stature (by standing on a table). Sure, you might get a raised eyebrow, possibly even a few snickers (not the candy kind)... but giiiirl, you'll be heard.

; )

Or - stare straight at the guy, stink-eye, and say, "Excuse me it is MY turn now so shut. your. MOUTH."

Let me know if you try these! : )

Bayjb said...

I don't know what you can do to make it better, outside of slashing his tires or cutting him. I think either one could work.

SS+1 said...

I vote for pulling the classic "Billy Madison" shouting "NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!" loud as the prof is walking in the door.
If Jackhole doesn't react, then have the nice guy next to you shout it the next class (ya case Jackhole happens to bat for the other team).

stealthnerd said...

augh, that is the worst! hang in there and try not to kill him. then, if you make the rest of the semester, celebrate by bitching him out on the last day.

no, i'm just kidding, don't do that, it's terrible advice.

Anonymous said...

And this is why it's always important to have stray candies! They save you in all situations. And you can throw them at the tatas flashing you, and I'm sure they'll appreciate it too.
my choice is the dark-chocolate kisses. Yummmmmm

Angela said...

If I were you I'd really try talking to the prof about the kid. Tell the teacher that by now it's obvious that the Jackass will probably end up being in a group with you, but you'd just rather not work with him because you wouldn't be able to contribute (I've actually had to do this before and the teacher was completely fine with it because he knew the kid was an idiot and that I didn't want to share a grade with him). The Jackass in your class probably won't listen to you, so just go higher up to the professor.

Or, find a new group of kids to work with. Maybe sit in a new seat one day and casually mention to the person next to you that you just couldn't take one more day sitting next to the Jackass.

stoogepie said...

So, how are the tatas? I mean, are those I-5 tatas worth a flight to Seattle? What if I used points?

There is this homeless dude who lives on the steps of a church near me. We talk sometimes. One time I asked him how he became homeless, and he said, "I did not get an A in one of my classes." Just saying.

As for Mr. Asshat McDouchemeat, there are very few problems in life that cannot be solved with a beverage offered at no cost fortified with a hidden dose of laxative.

this girl said...

I also have that "illogical attitude" of yours, that is soooooo logical FOR ME. :)

I'm still thinking what I would do if I have an annoying stupid in our class....

J.Danger said...

I LOVE that i am not the only one that makes classroom enemies! My husband always makes fun of me for it, but you know what- they exist. Obviously, they are out there. Jerks.