I am in a total funk today for some reason. It could be that it’s Monday with no days off in the near future. But while Mondays normally aren’t the greatest they don’t usually bug me this much. I think it might be the fact that I did not have any coffee this morning. None. Zilch.
As a result of this it is probably a good idea that people avoid talking to me at all costs. I’m going to put a sign up on my office door that says, “Enter at your own risk. There is a 95% chance you’ll get your head bitten off.”
Even little things like my highlighter running out of ink is making me pissy. I might have just chucked it out of my office and it might have hit somebody in the head. I’m sure my coworkers enjoy working with me. But really I should be ecstatic because my fantasy football team is winning and I’m playing the number one player in the league. And, yet, if one more person runs by my office like their ass is on fire I’m afraid I will end up pulling my hair out, which could only make my day worse because I really don’t want the whole patchy hair look.
So because I know people don’t want to hear about what a funk I’m in and really I could go on and on about it, but instead of doing that I took a Sparks test. Remember those? I used to take them over and over again in college. I was such a good student.
Anyways, since I am convinced I am dying I thought the death test would be appropriate to see if I really am…because I believe everything the internets tell me. Annnyyywaaayy, it appears that I am going to die at the ripe old age of 44 on October 28th. Also, I will die from alcoholism. Shocking! No, really, it is shocking because I did answer yes when they asked me if I have the black plague. I figured it was apt enough since I have something and I really don’t know what it is and tapeworm wasn’t an option. Soooo….I’ve got 18 years to live. Now I’m in even more of a funk since I’ve already reached the halfway point.