I’m sure everybody’s heard of the woman who has 14 children and how she doesn’t have a job and all were conceived through IVF. I’m sure everybody has plenty to say about how “irresponsible” she is and how her doctor is “unethical”.
Blah blah blah is what I say. I, for one, think she is a genius. Last night at my book club one of the members pointed out that this woman probably had these kids in the hope of getting a TV deal and I am very upset that I did not think of this first. I have been wasting my time working hard and going to school at night all in the hopes of one day having a modest career.
Now that I have missed out on this opportunity of getting rich by having fourteen kids I need another angle. Luckily, I have smart friends and they came up with the angle for me. So here’s my plan: I am going to quit school and get pregnant with octuplets, but the key is that I don’t realize it until I’m in labor. Then I will have eight kids and it will be a COMPLETE surprise.
How is this possible you ask? First off it runs in the family. My mom didn’t know she was pregnant with my little brother until she was eight months along and I’ll just tell Oprah how I inherited my mom’s talent for denial.
Second, there is also a history of thyroid problems in my family. In fact, I am pretty much the only one in the fam that hasn’t had a problem with my thyroid yet and that includes the cat. Soooo I’ll just tell Babwa how I thought I put all the weight on because my thyroid wasn’t doing its damn job.
Really I think it’s the best plan I’ve got given the economy. If you promise not to spill my secret plan to the media I’ll let you hang out at the house TLC will surely buy me – we can have Wii competitions and play drinking games while the nanny watches the kids.