Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Death of Domino

I know I am not the first person to say this, but I am quite upset about the demise of Domino. It is pretty much the only design magazine that I enjoy reading. It is original and actually has stuff in it that I feel pertain to me as opposed to Richie Rich who has millions of dollars to spend willy nilly.

I have been reading other design mags in an effort to find a worthy replacement and I have several complaints with them. First of all, what’s with all the fruit? One of the suggestions I noticed was to jazz up your mantel by putting a bowl of lemons on it and scattering more lemons around it. I asked my coworker how long lemons last and she said two weeks. Two weeks. I’m not one to waste food so for me to make it worth while to have a mantel covered in lemons I would have to make a lemony dish every day. Do people really have fresh fruit everywhere in their house like these magazines purport?

Same with fresh flowers? Who can afford to constantly buy fresh flowers? I can somewhat understand in the summer when you can go to a farmer’s market and get a bouquet for $5, but even then I’m not going to buy a bouquet for every damn surface in the house and yet in these magazines there is always a vase full of flowers on every flipping table.

I also feel the need to share with you a few other “suggestions” that were absolutely beyond the realm of ridiculous so everybody can share in my indignation. First, there was the $5,000 sculpture that would be perfect for your library. Yes, your library. Oh, you don’t have one? That’s odd because I thought everybody did.

Second, there was the suggestion to add a little color to your kitchen by buying a red kitchen aid mixer, even if you don’t bake it’ll still provide a bright spot in the kitchen and perk up your mood! For the person out there who is buying a kitchen aid mixer just to look at could you pretty please pay for my tuition instead? I promise it’ll go to better use than spending hundreds of dollars on something you’ll never use when instead you could just buy a pretty bowl at Ikea and fill it with oranges. Just shoot me an email and I’ll let you know the amount. You could even send it right to my university so you know it’s not being spent on shoes and booze. Thanks!

23 comments:

Andy said...

Wehn I read the title, I thought the death of domino, as in the game. And I was going to protest by saying I still play domino, so that's not going to happen. Then I realized you were talking about the magazine and now I feel blonde.

True story.

dmb5_libra said...

what magazines are you reading?!

these are some of the most ridiculous suggestions i've heard. they might as well read "want to add some warmth and comfort to your house? throw money into trashcan. light on fire. now sit back and ENJOY!"

Losing It said...

You need to write the REAL person's version of Domino:

1. Brighten up your home with fresh flowers... that you plucked out of your neighbor's garden at 3 am.

2. Jazz up your mantel with colorful, long-lasting food. Poptarts and cheetos come to mind... they last forever.

3. Why spend $5000 on a sculpture when you can sass up your library with that POS clay ashtray that weighs 19 lbs. your kid made?

Megkathleen said...

Andy - That's ok, when I informed my coworker who has a subscription she thought I was talking about Domino's pizza.

dmb5_libra - It was Beautiful Homes. It should be called Beautiful Homes (for the rich and famous who are at a loss as to what to do with all their extra cash).

Losing it - Hilarious! I think you would do a better job writing it than me. I would buy it!

Maxie said...

I spring for wal-mart flowers like... twice a year? It's more special that way!

Bayjb said...

Wow I didn't know Domino bit the dust. That's too bad. I didn't actively read it but some parts were pretty good. I agree there is a high emphasis on fruit and flowers, but I would invest in nice fake ones to last all year

Rachie said...

I'm pretty sure I subscribe to every single one of those magazines because I know I've read all of those suggestions before. Yea, I don't get them either.

rs27 said...

I thought you were going to tlak about that movie with Keira Knightley in it.

She got topless.

wontletlifedefineme said...

I always find it so strange when home improvement programs redo someone's house and there are hardly any chairs or bookcases or storage space. It seems to be the new trend, but honestly, how do you live in such a place?

Oh and I tend to buy fresh flowers on a weekly basis but then again I'm from the country that ships flowers to every destination in the world and without the transportation costs, they're actually not that expensive (I pay about 2,50 euros for 10 tulips for example)

PunkyBean said...

Two weeks my ass! Those lemons will get funky fast! I set out a bowl of lemons for "table dressing" when we were selling our old house (because people might not notice it was the size of a closet if there were lemons.) Those lemons got moldy in like a week.

BTW, whith the title I thought you'd gone all "Menace 2 Society" and were going to tell us about how you were playing dominos.

surviving myself said...

Also, what's up with all the white people? Those design mags and Money magazine have to be the most white bread mags out there.

They're like "Silly black people - you don't have nicely designed homes or money!"

Megkathleen said...

Maxie - I'm the same, I'd guess twice a year. You're right too I'm that much more excited about them then. I hate them though when they start to die.

Bayjb - I've been trying to figure out where to find good fake flowers. If you know of a place give me a heads up!

Rachie - Good, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one reading these elitest mags.

rs27 - Oops, sorry. I'll try not to be misleading with my titles. If I talk about Keira topless I'll call it "Keira's tig bitties! Just kidding, they're not big at all."

Wontletlifedefineme - Just another reason why I would love to live in the Netherlands.

Punkybean - Man, in that case I'd have to make like two lemony dishes a day. There'd be lemon bars everywhere.

Survivingmyself - SO TRUE! Now I'm going to have to write a letter to the editor asking why they gots to be so racist.

Jane said...

I miss Domino too. I just don't get the other magazines. They seem to be written for the people who can not only afford to have libraries in their houses, but also either a.) don't have books in their libraries or b.) have books in their libraries, but only because they match the "color scheme."

I thought there'd be a lot more of the Domino-type people in the world, but maybe we're just too broke to appeal to advertisers. Sigh.

Kristen said...

You don't have a library?

I don't think I can read this blog anymore.

I had no idea you were poor.

Jay said...

I had really hoped this post would end with you slamming your last bone on the table, yelling "Domino, bitches!"

Kez said...

Well said, lady. Well said!
Funny but true. Or is that sad but true?

Dingo said...

I am addicted to Apartment Therapy and similar blogs. The death of Domino was a blow to people who can't afford the $20,000 couches and $300 mixers to add a "pop of color" to their kitchen.

Now I don't know what to do with my library patched together from paperbackswap.com and my kitchen furnished in 21st Century Target. I suppose I can just sit on my second-hand couch and ponder the imponderables.

the letters i wish i'd written said...

I hid my spare five grand in my library if you're desperate you're welcome to come search the west wing, just be careful lemons don't fall on your head, we like to balance them on top of the shelves for colour...Some people have more money than sense...

Narm said...

I'll donate but only if you promise to spend it on shoes and booze.

amindinmotown said...

I may not have read Domino - or ever heard of it - but I get exactly what you're saying. And even though I have no clue what I'm doing, I've been attempting to decorate my house on a budget for a year now. A friggin' year. Yet even fake tulips are about $18 each at Michaels. Jeez. Don't they know poor people like pretty things, too?

ÄsK AliCë said...

It's the same way with most fashion magazines. Want to save cash and go all economic? How about this $679 belt? It's a steal of a deal!

PS - I gave you an award a few days ago - you may have to scroll down to find it!

Pam said...

That's hilarious. I feel the same way about some of those magazines Fresh fruit and fresh flowers? Please. Even when it comes to fashion and they have the "bargain" sections, it's unreal. A $500 dress is NOT a bargain. I always end up feeling poor after reading those articles...

Oh and I also gave you an award. Check it out on my blog!

Chris said...

While lemons stay fully yellow only a week or two, the nice green, white, and black the develops after that are a nice tonal compliment to the sometime overpowering yellow.