Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Who knew? I CAN O.D. on caffeine

I met with my marketing group yesterday after work at a coffee shop in Bellevue. Of course, first order of business when I got there was to order a coffee – I went with my usual mocha with extra shots and NO WHIP. God, I hate whip cream.

I had this friend growing up who was always shooting that stuff straight into her mouth and every time she did it I threw up a little in my mouth. Shudder.

I am extremely picky when it comes to my coffee – I attribute this to my six years of working as a barista through high school and college. First of all, if I see the espresso shots have been sitting for too long without being mixed with milk I’ll tell them to throw them out. Unless the person looks sketchy and might pee in my drink when I’m distracted by the annoying high school girls with their high pitched voices whining about that skanky hoe not inviting them to that party last Friday night, but a bad coffee drink can ruin my day – I must take steps to protect it even if that means taking a slight risk of bodily fluids making their way into my precious drink.

My other problem is people have been known to forget the all important extra shot which, believe me, is a tragedy for it makes the drink much to sweet. I am also one of those people who like extra foam on their mocha. First, it also lowers the sweetness factor and second, it keeps the mocha from exploding out of the lid, which has happened all too often to me on days when I happen to be wearing an especially cute sweater.

Anyway, I’m sure you were all dying to know exactly how I like my mocha…but what I was going to say before I got sidetracked is that I really didn’t need those extra three shots of espresso yesterday after work. Our meeting lasted a little over two hours, but since Seattle traffic is such a little bitch I still managed to get stuck in rush hour on the way home in the middle of a “November storm” (that’s what the news kept calling it, not much a storm if you ask me…but I guess the people who are preparing for floods would disagree with me).

The point is that it wasn’t really the greatest for me to be driving in that kind of traffic while having a heart attack. You read that right - I swear to you I was having a heart attack on my way home. If not a heart attack then my heart was at least skipping beats and there was chest pain involved.

My theory is that the three shots I had after already ingesting my normal amount of caffeine for the day (a morning coffee, black tea, pop) was just too much caffeine for me, which I really did not think was possible. I thought caffeine no longer had any effect on me…except for the lack of it causing a headache that feels like people having a party in my skull with jackhammers. Hopefully this lesson stays with me for a while…at least until tonight when I have to go to school and I am once again tempted to drink coffee – there is going to be a guest speaker tonight, which is never good for my attention span.

22 comments:

surviving myself said...

I've never drank coffee, so if I did, I bet I would go insane.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

I totally thought I was the only person in the world who hated whip cream. It is so terrible. Blech, getting grossed out just thinking about it.

SS+1 said...

Caffiene attacks like that are.the.worst! Glad you recovered :)

stealthnerd said...

Boo is the same way with his coffee--he never thinks he can OD until suddenly he's mid-caffeine attack. Me on the other hand, I'm wigging out after a tall, full-caff from Starbucks.

wontletlifedefineme said...

Yep, caffeine can give you heart palpitations... Hope it passes soon!

My trick with caffeine is to drink 3 or 4 cups a week, and when I need it. It prevents you getting hooked on caffeine, which makes the effect greater when you need a caffeine shot. Plus you don't get the headaches when you have to go without coffee for a while.

Oh by the way, have you ever tried putting course ground coffee in a filter with cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves? It's delicious!

Jay said...

Yeah, my guess is that the barista decided to lace your mocha with speed in lieu of pissing in it. Live and learn I suppose.

Chris said...

I'm not sure its possible to hate whipped cream. I mean isn't that like hating breathing?

Angela said...

A person actually CAN OD on caffeine!

In my forensics lab we had a "case" where we had to determine if a woman was killed from caffeine poisoning!

Andy said...

I'm usually pretty hyper-active WITHOUY coffee. Picture how I get WITH coffee. Not pretty. I get delusional.

Megkathleen said...

Surviving myself - You should try it...I'm just curious to see what would happen.

Duchess of Kickball - I thought I was the only person too! Woohoo - we should have a club.

ss+1 - Tell me about it! I was afraid the night would end with my heart exploding or a nasty car accident.

Stealthnerd - I never learn my lesson either.

Wontletlifedefineme - I have been cutting down, but I am taking baby steps in my withdrawal from caffeine.

Jay - Jesus, I didn't even think of that. I'm sure that's what it is. I have experienced that before (people slipping me speed when I'm not looking) and the result IS chest palpitations.

Chris - I do hate breathing so I guess they are kind of similar...

Angela - Well, I no longer am convinced I am going to die of cirrhosis of the liver. Now I will most certainly die of a caffeine O.D. at some point.

Andy - Luckily I wasn't delusional last night because that on top of everything would have been the end of me for sure!

So@24 said...

Leave it to a Seattle-ite to dedicate an entire blog post to coffee and caffeine!

heatherdc said...

I think being a Barista is a scary, scary thing. My sister used to work there, and OMG. I would get calls from her once she got off and...um, lets just say her "tolerance" for caffeine wasn't quite there yet. Good lord. She was allll over the damn place talking like 100 words a minute. Craazzzzy.

at least now you know your limits ;) and you Def know how you want that Mocha.

Bayjb said...

I don't drink coffee very much at all, really at all, but the first time I had it, I thought my heart would jump out of my chest. scary.

Maxie said...

sometimes if I have too many redbull and vokdas I get the shakes the next day. it's kind of scary.

Heather said...

I also hate whipped cream, especially in coffee. It leaves a nasty oil in the coffee. Gross! I had 2 venti coffees today. I am bouncing off of the walls right now so I know how you feel.

Rachie said...

Teehee. I'm not laughing at your heart attack but how you know yourself well enough to know that your "lesson" won't stay even for a couple of hours. I'm like that with Coke.

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Eeeeks! Heart attacks=no good.

I love coffee too though, and when it is a bad drink...i am not in a happy mood, so I totally understand where you are coming from!

Kiera said...

Hearts attacks in rush hour traffic doesn't sound to fun. Sounds like the equivalent of spilling piping hot coffee in your lap while driving 50 mph (this actually happened to me, and I almost wrecked in to two cars). Or maybe it isn't that bad. You survived to tell us your tell at least!

Kristen said...

I'm sorry. I couldn't focus on any of this post past where you said you don't like whipped cream.

WHAT?

I feel like I don't even know you...

Matt said...

I'm with chris up there...

how could you possibly hate whipped cream??

Elizabeth said...

Ugh...where are the caffeine pills when you need them? Just kidding, but seriously, those can definitely play games with you at the worst times, especially when mixed with energy drinks or something!

Also, I agree with you that whipped cream is pretty nasty!

stoogepie said...

I think I had too much caffiene when I was like seventeen or something, and I got jittery. For future reference, heroin cures that right up. You should keep some in your car.

I drink about twenty cups of coffee everyday, unless I need to stay awake and then I just drop meth. Are you sure you were even in a traffic jam? On ice, I can be driving at 130 miles an hour and it still feels like traffic is just lurching along.

Also, I get distracted by the high school girls, too.

So, are you saying the heart attack was not enjoyable? Because I could see how that might be a kick.