I saw an article this morning on MSN titled Tips to Beat Holiday Stress. I, of course, clicked on it hoping to be given the secret to getting everything done in time without going apeshit at any point (I’m looking for a legal solution here. – no crack cocaine for this girl). I am always stressed around the holiday season. I most likely get it from my mom either that or I ask way too much of myself during the holidays.
I love Christmas, LOVE IT, but there’re certain things that make Christmas perfect like tons and tons of Christmas cookies, the perfect gift for everybody, and the biggest bestest birthday bash for yours truly. So not only do I have tons of shopping, baking, and, planning to do, but I also have finals to contend with…oh and I’ll be out of town two of the weekends prior to Christmas, but my mom has told me I am not allowed to complain about that.
Anyway, my point is how could I not click on this article? I admit I was hoping for a miracle solution…like maybe they knew how Zach Morris was able to stop time on Saved By The Bell. Let me tell you if I had that power I would not spend that precious time talking to the camera that follows me around all the time.
This article was quite the letdown though – it spent most of the time telling me why I’m stressed, really, though, it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure that one out. But there were hardly any tips, as I skimmed it I saw only one: have a potluck instead of cooking the whole dinner by yourself. Are you kidding me?! You do NOT want to get me started about how much I hate hate hate potlucks. So, since this article was so completely the opposite of helpful I thought I would come up with some tips of my own to help people out that might be in the same predicament that I am in, aka easily overwhelmed.
First: Drink a lot. As Homer says, “It is the solution to all of life’s problems…and the cause.” Just ignore that last part. It really helps if you have to go to that company Christmas party (just be sure to leave before you feel like it would be appropriate for you to start removing items of clothing). It improves your acting ability when having to pretend you like a present: “Wow, this is the PERFECT nightgown! I couldn’t have found a more PERFECT one!” I might overdo it sometimes. Or it might decrease your acting ability, but don’t worry that just increases other people’s enjoyment. It also allows you to pass out when family drama gets beyond the point of entertaining.
Second: Hit someone. Preferably somebody that can’t hit back, because having a black eye is not good for de-stressing – it only works when giving them to somebody else.
Third: Call in sick for the company Christmas party. Or if you’re like me, lie and say you’ll be out of town (technically, I will be out of town that day…I’ll just be back in time for the party, but they don’t need to know that!) Or if you’re one of those lucky people who likes their coworkers then go to the party and follow my first tip.
Fourth: Temporarily become bulimic. Who has time to workout during the three weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Plus, what kind of person are you if you actually stick to your diet…no friend of mine that’s for sure. So I say just throw up in between meals. What?! It’s only temporary!
That’s all I’ve got. I could really use some more tips though so that I don’t lose my sanity – How do you keep your marbles intact?