Thursday, September 25, 2008

How NOT to dress your kids

I would like to continue my earlier story about my shopping trip with the sister if that is okay with you. It’s not really a story so much as I need to share what I discovered in Gap kids after the screeching alarm went off:

Who is buying this for their daughter? I mean really?! A FUR VEST? What is Gap thinking? You know what it reminds me of? Those annoying, bratty rich girls that have fur coats at the age of five. Like Veruca Salt and, in case you didn’t know, everybody hates Veruca Salt.

I really don’t even know what to say about it – I’m at a loss for words, which is why originally I wasn’t going to write about it until, that is, I saw a story on the news about a Seattle company called Heelarious. It is a company started by women who wanted their baby girls to wear high heels. That is correct - the black patent mary janes weren’t cute enough or girly enough for them. Or maybe they were too girly and they wanted something more grown up.

Who really cares what they were thinking? What really galls me is these women think they’re the bees knees and absolutely hi-larious…hence the name “Heelarious.” So clever! I’m not going to go into how unbelievably stupid I think the whole thing is, but I will say this: Do the shoes not look an awful lot like Minnie Mouse’s high heels? And I have to say…I can’t imagine if I had a baby girl that I would want to dress her like Minnie Mouse. But that’s just me.


Heather said...

Wow. Not only is the idea behind the vest disturbing, thats Uuuuugly. ew.

and I have heard of this heels-for-little infants idea. ahhhhh! I bet Suri Cruise wears them tho. being the little fashionista that she is.

Bayjb said...

Don't hate me but the fur vest in a non-poop-like color would be maybe cute. The heel shoes are RIDICULOUS though. I saw that on the Today show.

Anonymous said...

Hahah--maybe I could dress my dog in this? Not. Those shoes are right up there on my hate list with Crocs. Ew!

MizFit said...

*eyeroll* at the shoes.

in a big bad way.

the vest? living in uberhot texas I feel I cant comment :)


Dingo said...

I'm not even going to address the sexism, consumerism and all that other crap these shoes and vest encode in our kids.

What I do want to say is that if you dressed a girl in that vest and those shoes, she would look like CroMagnon Minnie. That would be a good look if they decided to do have a section of the Disney theme park The Paleolithic Age.

Megkathleen said...

Heather - I hope Suri Cruise doesn't wear them. That would make me even more disgusted with Tom Cruise than I already am and I didn't think that was possible.

Bayjb - I won't hate you I promise. Plus that's a good point, the brown vest makes me think of camping out in the woods, but it might work in a white.

Thespottedottoman - True! Who decided crocs were cool anyway?

Mizfit - I'm so glad I'm not alone on the shoes. I was starting to worry about people.

Dingo - EXACTLY! So disturbing. But you're right if there was a paleolithic age at Disneyland this outfit would be a TEN.

stoogepie said...

I'm sorry to dissent with all you voices of reason out there, but there is a new world coming and kids grow up a lot faster than they used to. What's wrong with kids getting their groove on?

I long for the day when all little girls dress in heels and fur vests, maybe together with miniskirts that say "Juicy" on the ass and fishnets held up by little garters. I long for the day when all little dudes dress in hip-hop jeans hanging around their thighs with nipple-showing muscle tanks and open high-tops and do-rags under backwards-facing baseball caps.

When that day comes, the new world will have arrived and all of us oldsters can die happy knowing that the next generation learned from us and will be less inhibited and sexier than we ever were. When five-year-olds whiten their teeth, we will have reached that pinnacle of consumerist, individuality-spewing conformity that we and our parents have always dreamed of and have worked so hard for.

I can hardly wait.

So@24 said...

I still will shop occasionally at Kids GAP. So many good deals for someone with my height!

jamie said...

I think both are ridiculous. Fur in general is very unappealing, even more so on a child!

surviving myself said...

I wrote about those heels a little while ago, and I thought they just weren't sexy enough for my soon-to-be stripper imaginary daughter.

Megkathleen said...

Stoogepie - When you put it that way...I was obviously wrong. Thank GOD you're around to set me right.

so@24 - There were some cute boy stuff...apparently it's just the girls they are trying to corrupt.

Jamie - Thank you. Fur just does NOT belong on a child.

Survivingmyself - That is exactly the problem with them. EXACTLY.