Turns Out I'm Illiterate

I was thinking last week that I wanted to start having more posts about cooking on here. I love to cook and am always trying new recipes so I thought I could share with the three readers I have what recipes work and what don’t.

So this weekend as I went on a baking frenzy and in the back of my mind was the thought of what recipe could I blog about. The first difficulty I encountered was taking pictures of the steps. I don’t know how the Pioneer Woman does it! It must take her ages to cook when she has to take pictures of every step.

The other difficulty was that everything I made was a disaster…well, mostly everything. First, I made cookies called Oatmeal Scotchies on Saturday. When I read the part of the recipe where it called for one cup of butter in my head I read 1 stick of butter. I didn’t catch my mistake until after the cookies were out of the oven and finished and then had an epiphany where I realized it was supposed to be TWO sticks of butter. Oopsies! Chuckles has assured me they taste fine despite the lack of butter. I personally am not a fan of oatmeal cookies so I am not a trusty source for an unbiased opinion so I really don’t know if they’re ok...people seem to be eating them. But the point is I can’t be trusted to give advice on cooking.

Then on Sunday I made Deep Chocolate Cheesecake Bars. The first step was to melt an entire bag of chocolate chips. Then it said beat cream cheese and sugar. So I beat the cream cheese and sugar with the chocolate. Big Mistake. The chocolate was supposed to be added later – I think it really messed up the consistency. It was a bitch to mix that’s for sure. It seems to be ok, but I’ve only had one so I am reserving judgment on those until later when I can pawn them off on unsuspecting family members.

Finally, tonight we are going to a potluck and I was going to make a pear, bleu cheese, and walnut salad for it. I always make candied walnuts because (do I really have to explain?) candied walnuts are always better than toasted walnuts. I decided to try a new recipe for it because the last ones I made weren’t pretty enough for me. Sure they tasted good, but they just didn’t look like it – I wanted them to be shinier. So I made them from a new recipe that had glowing reviews and poured them on some wax paper to cool and when I went to put them in a container later they were completely stuck to the paper. So obviously I fucked up and the worst part is I have no idea where! But they sure are shiny…

So if I were to do cooking posts on here they would all most likely be a lesson in what NOT to do. My coworker told me not to stress about it because I have been very tired and stressed and therefore flaky lately and that is why I can do nothing right. My reaction to this flakiness has been to drink four times the amount of caffeine than I normally do, which, unfortunately, is only making the situation worse…oh well, only 3 more days til Christmas.