Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Turns Out I'm Illiterate

I was thinking last week that I wanted to start having more posts about cooking on here. I love to cook and am always trying new recipes so I thought I could share with the three readers I have what recipes work and what don’t.

So this weekend as I went on a baking frenzy and in the back of my mind was the thought of what recipe could I blog about. The first difficulty I encountered was taking pictures of the steps. I don’t know how the Pioneer Woman does it! It must take her ages to cook when she has to take pictures of every step.

The other difficulty was that everything I made was a disaster…well, mostly everything. First, I made cookies called Oatmeal Scotchies on Saturday. When I read the part of the recipe where it called for one cup of butter in my head I read 1 stick of butter. I didn’t catch my mistake until after the cookies were out of the oven and finished and then had an epiphany where I realized it was supposed to be TWO sticks of butter. Oopsies! Chuckles has assured me they taste fine despite the lack of butter. I personally am not a fan of oatmeal cookies so I am not a trusty source for an unbiased opinion so I really don’t know if they’re ok...people seem to be eating them. But the point is I can’t be trusted to give advice on cooking.

Then on Sunday I made Deep Chocolate Cheesecake Bars. The first step was to melt an entire bag of chocolate chips. Then it said beat cream cheese and sugar. So I beat the cream cheese and sugar with the chocolate. Big Mistake. The chocolate was supposed to be added later – I think it really messed up the consistency. It was a bitch to mix that’s for sure. It seems to be ok, but I’ve only had one so I am reserving judgment on those until later when I can pawn them off on unsuspecting family members.

Finally, tonight we are going to a potluck and I was going to make a pear, bleu cheese, and walnut salad for it. I always make candied walnuts because (do I really have to explain?) candied walnuts are always better than toasted walnuts. I decided to try a new recipe for it because the last ones I made weren’t pretty enough for me. Sure they tasted good, but they just didn’t look like it – I wanted them to be shinier. So I made them from a new recipe that had glowing reviews and poured them on some wax paper to cool and when I went to put them in a container later they were completely stuck to the paper. So obviously I fucked up and the worst part is I have no idea where! But they sure are shiny…

So if I were to do cooking posts on here they would all most likely be a lesson in what NOT to do. My coworker told me not to stress about it because I have been very tired and stressed and therefore flaky lately and that is why I can do nothing right. My reaction to this flakiness has been to drink four times the amount of caffeine than I normally do, which, unfortunately, is only making the situation worse…oh well, only 3 more days til Christmas.


Anonymous said...

ahaha, i do that kinda stuff too. even last night i was making the same cookies i've made every year at Christmas for most of my life and i was so excited to use my Kitchenaide Stand Mixer for the first time that i didn't realize until AFTER i put the dough in the fridge to harden that i left out 1/3 of the butter. oh well, they'll still be delicious... i hope so. if not maybe i can melt some butter and brush it on top : )

oh and egg whites makes stuff shiny, not sure if that's what you tried. personally i'd find blogging about cooking disasters much more interesting than recipes that went flawlessly. that's just more like my reality : )

Cass said...

I gotta say I also would enjoy the blog of cooking disasters, makes it a little easier to relate to. :-)

I'm impressed you attempted the baking, I'm procrastinating my trip to the grocery store. There are about 4 pies to bake in my future.

Elizabeth said...

I don't think you can go wrong with anything that has cream cheese, chocolate, and sugar as the main ingredients.

I hope you can get some well deserved rest and breaks soon!

Bayjb said...

Fact, candied anything, especially walnuts trump regular nuts any day. Everything you made sounds delicious, even with a few missteps. I'm sure it was great.

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Hahahaha, you are so like me! I suck at cooking but I try so hard!

Matt said...

awww... youre posting again!!!


merry xmas!

Anonymous said...

HA!! Wow, this post just cracked me up...."the point is, I cant be trusted to give advice on cooking." - that's the post, in a nutshell ;) BUT! You can be trusted to write pretty entertaining recaps of your baking/cooking trials.....that counts for something, no?