The More You Know

I have a message for the snotty girl in my accounting class who thinks she’s all that. Don’t ever EVER wear boots over baggy jeans. If you are going to wear boots over jeans they have to be SKINNY. Also, while we’re on the subject, they should be knee high boots not tight mid calf boots. If you insist on wearing mid calf boots over your jeans that at least make them slouchy boots. I would also like to request that when you walk by me to go get your nasty soup that makes the entire room stink that you don’t give me that up and down stare like I’m the freak show here. I will have you know that my lace tights are quite stylish and I have gotten many compliments on them. Oh, and just one last thing, stop wearing scrunchies.

Nobody steals from me. Nobody.

I have an enemy in my marketing class that is much more serious than the enemy I dealt with in my accounting classes. The ex-enemy was simply annoying with her non-stop chattering and her “I’m better than you” attitude.

The new and improved enemy is an actual asshole. Remember that guy who doesn’t speak English all that well, but still likes to argue with the prof over the correct usage of words? Of course you do. Well now he likes to sit next to me. Mother Effer.

At the end of each class the prof makes us do a group project and you automatically have to work with the person next to you. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, but he is quite the know-it-all. It was an extremely frustrating experience. He talks non-stop and every time somebody would try to get a word in edgewise he would just talk louder to drown them out. I really do not take kindly to people trying to shut me up so I was truly near tears. Finally, I gave up and completely stopped contributing. Instead I started digging in my purse for stray Starbursts and shared them with the nice guy next to me who had also given up. Then we sat back and watched the one guy left attempt to argue with Jackass who appeared to not notice that anybody else was talking.

This really isn’t all that big of a deal until you consider the fact that I will probably be in a group with him for the huge project that we spend six weeks of class time working on. I have finally faced the facts that if I am in a group with this guy in order to survive I will have to stop caring about my grade…which is virtually impossible for me.

I have this completely illogical attitude that if I don’t get an A on every single project, homework assignment, and test I will inevitably end up homeless living in some parking lot in Seattle next to an onramp to I-5. I pass these people every day on my way home from school and, while occasionally I’ll get tata’s flashed at me, it only serves as a reminder of what my future will be like if I don’t get straight A’s. Please don’t point out how irrational this is - my poor brain can’t process it it’s got too many other things going on.

Anyway, either I have to stop caring about my grade because I won’t be allowed to talk and therefore will have zero control over it or I have to confront him. I’ve been giving myself a pep talk about confronting him so hopefully I’ll have the ovaries to bitch him out in the next month or so.

Oh, and did I mention he stole my pencil? Well, he did. Jackass. On a positive note I’m liking the prof more than I did at the beginning of class. The new enemy isn’t the only idiot in the class – there are quite a few and what I like about the prof is he has no patience for them. I always said I could never be a teacher because when people are stupid I wouldn’t be shy about telling them. This prof just looks at them like they’re crazy and says, “No! That’s not it at all. NEXT!” I love it.

However, I hate how it doesn’t faze these people. They just keep on keeping on. In all seriousness though at one point he asked a question and then point blank said, “The answer is not blah blah blah” and then three people raised their hand and said, “Is the answer blah blah blah?” NO, IT ISN’T. If you’re not listening than stop talking! I’d be worried about losing my cool and yelling at people to shut their stupid mouths, but I figure I’ve made it this far without going completely nutso so surely I can make it another month and a half.

I am a horrible person.

I realized something about myself last night and I am somewhat ashamed of it. I had my marketing class last night and I made a point of sitting in a different spot because I didn’t want to be in a group for the final project with the people sitting around me from the first week. I told myself it was because the guy sitting next to me was quite arrogant. (He kept going on and on about this cool job he had in Taiwan and all the people under him and blah blah blah something about wearing gold-plated diapers).

But I was forced to come to terms with the other underlying reason for my not wanting to be in their group…they were foreign. I know I’m a horrible person, I get it, but before you get all judgey on me I have to tell you that there is a really big group paper due at the end of the quarter. So what if I want to be in a group with the white people who can probably write well? I am so going to hell.

What happened last night to cause this epiphany is the prof (still with the popped collar) was talking about fidelity in terms of movies means how “faithful” they are to reality. At this point some kid in the back of the classroom raised his hand and said in a very strong accent that he thought the teacher didn’t know what the word faithful really meant and was using it in the wrong context and he continued to harp on it until the teacher used “accurate” instead.

All I could think was if I were a student at a school in France I wouldn’t be arguing with the teacher about the correct meaning of French words. But that’s just me, crazy “where are my pills” me! Later another international student got in a friendly debate with the teacher about the difference between convenience and flexibility.

So sue me that I don’t want to be in a group with them and instead want to be in a group with the nice girl who is just happens to be from the U.S. of A. and happens to work in Marketing and, yes, I talked to her on the way to our cars and I think I’m golden if I get in a group with her. Let me tell you I breathed a huge sigh of relief on the way home knowing that I would have a group that spoke fluent English.

Although, that didn’t last long because I quickly realized I needed to head to a gas station or risk running out of gas on the freeway. Oopsies! Don’t want to do that again!

What happens when I get bored

I had my first marketing class last night. It was boring. Very very boring. First of all, the professor, who was probably in his mid-fifties, showed up in a polo shirt with a popped collar so I already hate him. While I was there I got tired of doodling and instead started writing whatever crossed my mind…anything to keep myself awake. Here’s my notes for your entertainment:

5:33 – I can’t believe I’m going to miss Dancing with the Stars just to spend three hours reviewing the homework.

5:41 – People are stupid.

5:46 – I hate people who don’t raise their hands to talk (When the class is graded on participation and you interrupt other people who haven’t had a chance to speak you’re what people call a Douchebag.)

5:43 – I forgot to bring dinner to work…soooooo hungry. I’m so hungry I actually feel sick to my stomach.

5:52 – Shut. Your. Mouth. What did I say about not interrupting people?!

5:58 – Am I really in graduate school? I only wonder because it appears to me that we’re spending three hours going over homework that consisted of reading comprehension questions.

6:05 – I really need to get my bangs trimmed. They look like a hot tranny mess. (Did I use that in the right way? I really don’t know what it means.)

6:11 – Remember in movies how kids always read comic books hidden behind their school books. I need to figure out a way to work that in this class. I should follow the example of the kid sitting next to me who’s instant messaging friends.

6:17– My bladder is going to explode. Maybe I should stop with this and start writing a will.

6:23 – I wonder what would happen if I started to cry from boredom…I think I’m about to find out.

6:37 – I should come up with a new catchphrase. How ‘bout Shazam? I might have stole that from somebody else…I lack all creativity skills.

6:41 – Stomach growling loudly. People looking around trying to locate noise.

6:47 – Oh dear God. I’m so hungry. Please make it stop. Now I’m whimpering and this can only mean that nobody will want to be in a group with the weird whimpering girl.

6:53 – Just because somebody else is willing to do something does NOT justify an action! Why is this so hard to understand?!

6:59 – People are so stupid.

7:06 – Raise your fucking hand or shut your mouth.

7:11 – My classmates are so unethical it boggles the mind. This is why markets need to be regulated because I can tell you first hand that business students are NOT ethical. They have no morals. None.

7:17 – This, my friends, is why I always have food in my car. Just had a break and was able to run out to the car and grab cheezits. I’m so happy right now.

7:26 – Less than an hour left in class. Shazam! Does it work?

Apparently, this is the point where I passed out…either that or was too distracted by the cheezits to write. I really hope the next class isn’t this boring – I just can’t handle it. I’m afraid of what kind of harm I might possibly inflict on myself if I have to relive this again.