What is with the outhouse?

Usually I’m not a fan of running on the track, but lately I have been jogging on the track in Edmonds partially because of all the snow in December and I got a fancy schmancy running watch for Christmas and it’s been easier to test it out on the track.

There are some distinct advantages to using the track though and it really isn’t as tedious as I thought it would be. First of all, there are no hills and no matter how many different routes I have tried in Edmonds there is absolutely no avoiding crazy hills.

But even better than that is the people watching. Usually there are only one or two other people on the track, but they never fail to be interesting. Last Thursday when I went there was some guy running and the entire time he carried on a conversation over his cell phone. That in and of itself is weird if you ask me, but that might be because I am one of those people who is incapable of carrying on a conversation during any sort of strenuous activity, anyway, if you had assumed that the conversation was over a Bluetooth you’d be wrong – he held the cell phone the entire time. Also, he was such a loud talker I could hear him when he was on the other side of the track over my music. So he pretty much ran two miles while yelling into a cell phone. That’s weird right? He also took a break halfway through to use the outhouse…and didn’t pause the conversation. Yes, he was talking so loud I could hear him when I ran by the outhouse…I guess he could have been talking to himself, but my guess is no.

Strangely enough on Sunday morning another jogger took a break to use the outhouse and all I have to say about that is how bad do you possibly have to go when you’re only running for ten minutes and you live down the street? No, I am not stalking fellow runners I just saw him leave his house because he lived so close to the track.

There also happens to be a skate park next to the track and Sunday morning there were a bunch of little punks hanging out there and one of them was the miniature version of Turtle from Entourage. Seriously, Turtle has a little brother and he lives in Edmonds.

I guess I should also explain The Enemy as there were so many questions about her. Technically, she has never really done anything to me it’s just that she annoys the hell out of me. At first I couldn’t really say exactly what it was about her that exasperated me so much, but I figured it out last night. She’s loud. Now, I don’t want you to get the idea that all loud people infuriate me, in fact, I, myself, tend to be loud, especially when I get excited or drunk and my voice goes up by about ten decibels and I get groups kicked out of campgrounds. But The Enemy is not loud in an “I’m unaware that I’m being loud” way or an “I just have a booming voice” way, she is loud in an I want everybody within 100 feet of me to hear about how cool I am. In my first class in my graduate program I had to sit right next to her and I spent four months trying desperately to block out the sound of her voice and her constant, CONSTANT, talk about her FABULOUS wedding and her FABULOUS job and HOW CUTE ARE HER SHOES?! Not cute, not cute at all. Oh, and unsolicited advice is also her specialty. You see she’s a know it all. See, now you’ve got me started. If I don't stop now this will turn into a ten page rant.